12838.) Seeing all my friends with boyfriends, who I am pretty sure they are going to marry, depresses me. I feel like I'll never have what they have because I'm too overweight and I'm so shy and I get too nervous in front of boys that I don't think anyone will ever like me for me. I really don't want to end up alone, but I probably will.. I'll be that girl who simply just has her family.. but at least I have them, right? I found this super nice thing on tumblr! It was how i felt like a week ago & it is freaking true ok. Until i found someone i'm willing to give space in my heart for :) I just feel really happy today even tho it's kinda bad, but because of what i'm told it just make me feel more happy. I hope i'm glowing!!! Cuz i cannot stop thinking about somebody hehe i'm so damn bottled up right now i don't dare to explain my feelings even to my close girls :( Idk what am i typing, this feeling is weired but all i know is i have a crush, i'm falling!!!!
Today was kinda interesting because we had to write a list of things our friends don't know abt so i worte:
1. I like prawning
2. I like acoustic music
3. I like vegetables
4. I like biologyAND I THINK IT'S SO FUNNY THAT THE WHOLE CELL DEVISION WERE LIKE SHOCKED WHEN THEY GUESSED OUT IT WAS ME.Haha, quite refreshing to see them all so shocked, what i wrote was a 100% true! I think through this people should really get to know me better before thinking that i'm a loose child that hates studying & only thinks about FUN! I wished i was more nerdier, but i think i'm nerdy enough already.
True enough
I LOVE SCIENCE AND BIO IS MY FAVOURITE!!!!! I LOVE HOW WE CAN ELARN HOW FOOD BREAKS DOWN BIT BY BIT IN OUR BODY! I love how the words are so challenging & i have to memorise the words! i like to learn about all the weired diseases we can get! Hehe i feel so nerdy but i really do love Bio, but i think not many people know that about me!
I love vegetables!!!! I don't know why so many kids out there hate them??? I really like them esp when they are fried with garlic YUMZ!
Acoustic music because makes me feel so happy & warm! Prawning because i like the thrill of catching prawns!
Today my boss scolded me again, he scolded me yesterday. He told me that he think i'm not right for the job, but he's thinking of maybe giving me a second chance.
YOU THINK I NEED A SECOND CHANCE? I just feel like sucha let down to alot of people recently, like how i can't photocopy properly :( I just feel weired, maybe i should resign....but i must come up with a reason right!!!! Mummy says don't let something difficult stop you from trying....should i?
I was up to my neck with anger just now! My maid didn't wake me up for work and i was freaking late, my clothes are missing & she wakes me up with her irritating voice manytimes & it's more than a month I DONT CARE I REALLY HATE HER I WISH SHE WENT BACK INDONESIA!!!! I'm so pissed, i can't function when ppl around me aren't doing what they're supposed to do. Like, she NOT WAKING ME UP AT ALL FOR WORK _l_ i am currently loosing my fucking job, you tell me how to trust her to wake me up anymore seriously???
& tday was some IT fair of smth, i was supposed to go with my father but we didn't go cuz he wanted to play football & he doesn't know how dissapointed i feel, more sad than dissapointed.
Since i was P6 i wanted a DSLR, till now i never did get one. My father puts fucking fake promisses to get me one but he didn't. Other got it when they demanded it! Some people even got it even though it wasn't suitable for them.......you tell me is life fair? My parents can spend over 1K on fishing good but now i'm just asking for a damn camera damn costs like lesser than 1K, the whole family can share too, but they refuse :( I've been believing in a lie for the past 2 years already & i just feel like whatever my father says i can't believe anymore, i just feel so fucking sad i wanna cry :'(
He puts his football game he plays every saturday before spending time @ the IT fair with me :( How fucking dissapointing!!!! I hope he feels my pain when we don't get to hang out with him anymore, i hope he undertood me more.
I hate how i never tell my father anything, our relationship issn't very strong. He's a man who put's himself first i guess, maybe it's time i learn not to rely on my parents anymore cuz i know
DISSAPOINTMENT will eventually get me.
I bet the party we're planning for my 15th birthday next year gonna be a
FAIL PLAN FOR SURE. We planned so happily, the club we're gonna book, the DJs the people, the food etc........ALL GONNA FAIL. Like how he promissed me when i was 6 to get those play dressing tablesm, he never did tho i'm 14 alr i wouldn't mind if he gave it to me now cuz i'll feel happy cuz he made up for his promise! The reason i hate making plans with my parents...all the promises they made to all never done. I guess you can't even rely on your own family after all.
I am currently leaving by this quote:
"Things in life don't always go our way but is the littlest things that make us smile :) "
By me, Desiree HAHA! But true, i'm trying to look on the bright side of life & just be happy right now cuz i got somebody hehe ;)
& I think i should not work...maybe focusing on my studies will be better cuz maybe i'm not ready for the outside world yet :( i'm afraid of screwing up on jobs & aiyooo i'm so hungry i'm gonna cook kimchi meggi me (Y)
XOXO 
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
